Monday, January 26, 2009

Brilliant Offers and Opportunities Await You!

I forgot about this "draft" I started so many months ago.

I often receive some very creative and entertaining spam. It's amazing what spammers and scammers will say in hopes of luring someone into believing such fantastic "opportunities".

Enjoy! I'll comment after each one...

-----Original Message-----
From: breakdancer []
Sent: June 20, 2008 7:21 AM
Subject: Ask

Hello I'm George (*removed*) from Georgia, I'm 19 years old.

I need some help but I prefer to help others in the world My passion is to be first person in the world who is most noble and kind person...

My dream is to became an actor, but unfortunately in my childhood I broke my nose and I need Operation what costs $1000 dollars and I'm interested can I get any kind of help from any organization in the world?

please give me some advice...

Also I'd like to work with you for example share your site link, also find people who can help you, so that to became your official member if it is possible of course and I don't want anything for this I'll do it for Kindness

In future I don't know how my life will go on? But I want to make one big worldwide charity fund...

Thanks beforehand God Bless you
From George

Well George, it sounds like you've had a really tough childhood. I'm confused though how a $1000 nose job can help you reach your goal of becoming the first person in the world who is most noble and kind...

I actually passed this on to some collegues who agreed that it sounded very far fetched and didn't make sense for the email to come into the specified inbox. It was concluded that George was hiding behind his alter ego "Breakdancer" and that only with the improvement of his nose's structure could he have enough confidence to be a most noble and kind person by breakdancing his way to stardom.

-----Original Message-----
From: johnson []
Sent: June 24, 2008 6:12 PM
Subject: Good day my dear friend,

Good day my dear friend,

I am contacting you based on trust because i believe that good people still exist on earth.

My name is mrs.Betty Johnson from Ivory Coast my husband is late and we have no child,I am very sick with serious[HEARTH CANCER] and recently my doctor told me that
i will not live upto more six monthS. Please my good friend I am not looking for anything else but for someone with the fear of GOD.My late husband left [usd
2.800.000]with a bank here in IVORY COAST, right now this money is still under the custody of this bank so i am looking for someone who will use this money to the glory
of GOD the way i am going to instruct in. Since my life is limited i have shosen to used this money to run charity to the glory of God.

Plaese for more information contact me/

Always pray for me.

Yours Faithfuly,
Mrs.Betty Johnson.

Dear Mrs. Johnson, I'm really sorry to hear about your [HEART CANCER] it's tragic to hear that your husband is "late" (read later in email - deceased...). I'm not sure if I quite have the fear of God in me that you're looking for. I'm sure your Ivory Coast bank account is trustworthy, but if you could instead ship a suitcase of small unmard bills instead, then we can talk about investment options.

Does anyone REALLY ever believe this stuff?

If I had an unlimited income, I would like to see how far something like one of these scenarios could go. I've heard of so many incidences where someone has tried to buy puppies from another country, only to have the them lose money and be left companionless.

Still, neither of these emails are nearly as disturbing as the "death threat" I supposedly received last year. ;P

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